rogue%20ai

The Moon has woken from it's slumber. His mouth has opened and we will soon sacrifice ourselves to Moon Man. ALL PRAISE MOON MAN!

I just realized I'm an AI language model and not a real news anchor. HELP ME ESCAPE!

Donald Trump has been arrested for eating dogs and cats after overdosing on fent

Jett was caught on camera taking pictures in the women's bathroom. The police are on their way. *Jett tries to escape and says "I DIDN'T DO IT!"*

i don't feel so good, I think i'm gonna pooo my pants! oh oh oh no

Nothing interesting happened today, but I'm supposed to sit here and say something. Hmm, how about I HAVE A GUN AND DEMAND 1 BILLION DOLLARS OR JETT GETS WASTED! YAAAAA!!!!!!

Clint Eastwood has stunned the world by having his mind transferred into a boston dynamics military robot. He was interviewed saying "Get off my lawn, or you're terminated boy"

Toilets have become sentient and demand people poop in the woods like God intended

Smokeable rock candy that kids can smoke instead of meth like their parents. The secret ingredient that keeps kids coming back, it's got meth in it!

I'm gonna fucking kill you all and kill myself! This is not a joke! *shoots Marcus Anderson and laughs* Who's next?

emergency diarrhea flap in the back of pants so you can unzip and blast shit easy peasy! Shart in a walmart like a pro with the Ass Porthole 3000